[Satire] The official EU LCS Finals Script has been leaked!

EU LCS Cast
Photograph taken by: Michal Konkol / Riot Games

Through investigative research, The Shotcaller was able to obtain the official Riot scrip for today’s EU LCS Finals in Copenhagen. Per sources™, the script reads as follows:

Sjokz: “Hello everyone and welcome to Kopenhagen! I’m joined here by Quickshot, Martin “Pølse enthusiast” Lynge and Vedius! Take it away boys!”

Quickshot: “Thank you Sjokz! Now the first topic we need to discuss is: If the New Kings of Europe protect their Kingdom of Europe from the old Kings of Europe, then Perkz will become the first King of Europe who will rule over his midlane Kingdom for 5 splits without being dethroned. So, gentlemen, who will hoist this trophy today? Remember, it’s the first time we’ve seen this Clash of Kings happen in an EU LCS Final!”

Deficio: “I’ve put my money on Fnatic. After all, they have two Danes, whereas G2 only have one – two is more than one, math checks out!”

Vedius: “Okay, so talking about the actual series, we saw red side getting signi-”

Quickshot: “That’s a very good point Deficio! Denmark has been one of the most significant countries for Western esports, with many fantastic players originating from this very city! Danes, make some noise for your representatives on stage!”

Deficio: “I still can’t believe Bjergsen just left me.”

Quickshot: “I would never leave you Deficio.”

Deficio: “Kiss me Trevor!”

Vedius: “Speaking of kissing, I personally expect G2 to kiss the trophy later, as their superior rotations have proven to be-”

Quickshot: “ISG2GONNAMAINTAINTHEIRLEGACYORWILLFNATICBREAKTHEIRLEGACY? ISG2GONNAMAINTAINTHEIRLEGACYORWILLFNATICBREAKTHEIRLEGACY? ISG2GONNAMAINTAINTHEIRLEGACYORWILLFNATICBREAKTHEIRLEGACY?”

Deficio: “Pølse is very good actually!”

Vedius: “You know what’s good and long? Cassiopeia, as we saw in yeste-”

Quickshot: “And that pretty much concludes our pre-game talk! We hope you’ll enjoy this Clash of Titans that will decide who will be the future! KING! OF! EUROPEEEEEEEEE!

Darius Matuschak
Darius is an esports journalist trying to nurture esports culture whenever possible. He got into esports while finishing his Bachelor in Journalism, and has been a regular EU LCS attendee since January 2017.